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15 years later

I just returned from getting crowns on a couple of teeth. TMI? well let me tell you the background story. I promise, you will be entertained.

(Insert Wayne’s World flashback squiggly lines)

My family was at a birthday party for one of my dads old college buddies. Cool reunion for the adults while all the kids played and played. As the night wore on the kids all went downstairs to play while the adults had fun reminiscing and laughing in the living room upstairs. Probably 10-14 adults and about the same # of kids. At 13 I was probably the oldest kid there. So I was showing off my mad b-ball skills on all the little ones. Downstairs this family had taken a full sized goal, metal rim wooden backboard and all, and hung it at about 6 feet for their boys to play on downstairs.

So in comes Spence for another MJ like dunk (tongue out, mouth wide open). Then it happened. While coming down for the dunk, brace yourself, my front four teeth got caught in the net of the goal.

I landed on the ground (on my feet thank you), looked down, and saw my front four teeth sticking straight up out of my mouth.. Not supposed to happen. Teeth are supposed to be in your mouth, under your lips. Not looking back at you.

Though I didn’t feel anything (found out later that is called ‘shock’) it was clear I needed some help. My brother recoiled in horror when i turned to him. Then the blood began to spew right out of my mouth. Crazy. So I did what any other kid would do…

All of the adults were in the living room having this picturesque moment of friendship. Laughter, gift opening and the like. When I busted through into the middle of the room,  the mood changed.

I was looking for mom. This was a mom situation. where is mom? The first woman I made eye contact with literally fainted. The second woman fainted halfway through her scream.Then out of her “mom is always ready” bag my mother stuffs a towel into my mouth to stop the bleeding. Dad gets the car and in a blink we were rushing to the ER.

13 shots of Novocain later (everything above my naval was numb), the doc reset my upper jaw and explained how fortunate I was to have not hung myself on the net. When people do what I did, they almost always break their neck.

My teeth were all still there, though we later learned the front two had died. They would, over time, slowly turn gray and need replacing.

(Replay Wayne’s World Flashback Squiggles)

So today, 15 years later, the replacing has happened. To you, this was hopefully a funny story. To me, this is the parting of ways with 2 dead teeth who made for one amazing story. As the doc filed them away, internally I said “thanks for hanging in there fellas (get it), R.I.P.”

Welcome to the mouth new teeth. While you are the face of this group, know your role. Don’t piss off the guys in the back. They get the work done around here.

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Categories: Uncategorized
  1. June 6, 2011 at 12:10 pm

    The short version: 18 years old. First time ice skating. On my feet for 35 minutes. One fall. Two front teeth snapped in half.

  2. carl
    June 6, 2011 at 12:19 pm

    I laughed out loud – can REALLY picture it….

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