Stuff a Small Group Leader should know pt.3 : Disciplines vs. Habits

We continue our ongoing series of stuff a small group leader should know. This one is useful both as a tool to keep your small group from avoiding “routine” and to keep you personally from putting the gospel on cruise control in your life. Today we talk about

Spiritual Disciplines vs. Spiritual Habits

I’ve been trying for some time to work out this principle because I experience it on a regular basis as a follower of Christ who is also a habit loving human. I love the routines I have in my life. Take showering for example. I have a showering routine. Warm the water up, get in facing away from the water, rinse, shampoo, wash body, rinse shampoo, finish Bohemian Rhapsody Chorus, and get out.

Why do I love this routine? because I dont have to think about it. I can go through the motions, get the job done, and not have thought about a thing. I rarely forget to do it, but I exert no thought towards it. Does that make sense?

Sometimes personally I can get into a spiritual routine. I crack open my bible, let my eyes go over a chapter of a book, shut it and pray for my family, my church, my friends, and world peace. On the surface, I appear like a pretty mature christian right? I mean I “read” my bible and I “pray” every day. Or at least, I go through the routine. I even sing the songs on Sunday at church. All of em. Every week. Another place for routine to kick in. I pay my tithe every month online through bill-pay. Another routine.

The spiritual disciplines (bible study, prayer, fasting, worship, evangelism, tithing, etc) are called disciplines because they require mental engagement. One must discipline himself or herself because he or she is not naturally inclined to fully engage such an exercise. We are CREATED to carry out these disciplines as they are all forms of worship, but our sin nature pulls us away from these acts of worship. (Paul expresses this struggle in the second half of Romans 7)

So here is my point: A group leader has got to fight against spiritual habit. Going through the motions is Satans way of pulling you away from communion with God himself. Fight it. As John Piper said at Advance09 this past weekend: “You will not know what prayer is for until you know that life is war.” Something like that.

You and your people are in a constant spiritual battle. Discipline your heart and mind to ENGAGE the scriptures, to pray with conviction and specificity, to make your words a concious conduit of your faith in your worship, to consider the sacrifice of the gospel in your tithe, to feast on Christ in your fasting, and most of all to rejoice in your salvation as you tell others.

You were created for worship. you are in a war. avoid cruise control at all costs.

Stuff a small group leader should know pt.1a

We are working through evaluating and retooling our discipleship strategy here at the Summit and in doing so we’ve been reminded of how essential one particular element of small group ministry is: communication. No wonder it is one of the 7 deadly sins of small group ministry according to Donahue & Robinson in their book by that title. So in an effort to COMMUNICATE some of the things we consider foundational to small group leader success,  we are beginning a series here at the Small Groups Guy on the stuff small group leaders should know.  This means anything from how your group can create other groups to balancing elements of group life to what materials to use in your group.  The goal behind this series is to make you a more informed and equipped small group leader. We begin with the question…

“What should my group study?”

This is the one question I was always finding myself coming back to as a small group leader for many years. Even if I set up a 6 month plan for my group’s study I was always keeping an eye out for other materials out there that would be “cool to try.” As a group leader you have a very serious responsibility in this arena. What you study will define a good portion of the discipleship experience your group members have. You better get this one right hu? So let’s build a strategy to answer this question well. Hopefully you will find this strategy one you can keep coming back to.  3 phases, the first of which we will look at today, the second two we will look at tomorrow.

First, Evaluate your situation. Answer the following questions:

• What is happening church-wide?
  • What is the pastor teaching through? Is he in a series on a particular book or subject?
    • Summiters: We’ve got a 3 week series on prayer starting May 3.
  • Are there any major initiatives being emphasized such as expansion projects, service opportunities, etc.?
    • Summiters: think BELIEVE project, Hope4RDU, Church Planting, for examples.
• What is happening in your small groups ministry?
  • ideally the small groups ministry will be emphasizing the same things as the church-wide vision, but there may be some nuances or other things the sg team is putting out there to help you make disciples.
  • Is there certain material the sg team is offering or encouraging you to use?
    • Summiters: think BELIEVE guide this February and our weekly sermon discussion guides the rest of the year.
  • Is there a certain emphasis for the year or semester the sg team has put out there at leadership gatherings?
    • Summiters: What did we emphasize at Frontline this January? Hope4RDU and small group coaching
• What is happening in your small group?
  • Spiritually, where are the people in your group? Are there new Christians and/or non-Christians?
  • Is there a certain life-stage many of your group members fit into?
  • How long has your group been meeting together?
  • Is there a situation one or more of your group members are in or have been through that you think requires more attention?

Mars Hill Church in Seattle, a sister church of the Summit in the Acts29 network, describes the role of their small group leader as “to know each member of the group well enough to articulate a vision for his/her spiritual growth, citing specifics about how my group as a whole or individual members of the group nurture his/her growth.” I think this is necessary in order to answer this 3rd question well.

part 2 coming tommorrow.

A Small Group Idea

I told all of our group leaders about an idea I am trying out this week in our SummitLIFE group. Right now our group is made up of all married couples. We didnt try to look like that, but that’s what we are right now so I have been looking for ways to capitalize on that (always look for ways to capitalize on the uniqueness of your group!). I’ve been trying to think of ways I can communicate that we need to place a high priority on maintaining healthy marriages & encouraging one another in those marriages. I’ve done the marriage study thing though and have found sometimes just talking about marriage is not very effective.

So tonight, for our small group meeting, each of the guys in my group is taking his woman on a date…Well, some of them are. The couples without kids have graciously agreed to my request to babysit for those who do have children so they can go out. THAT IS A GROUP CARING FOR ONE ANOTHER BABY! Honestly that (people serving eachother) is the part I am most excited about. So for those couples they will go out another night this week.

So, the guys are taking their women out. The goal here is to create an opportunity for a “win” for the couples in my group. A “win” is a good experience applying the gospel to an area of your life. As a small group leader, I feel like one of my duties as a group leader is to create those opportunities for my people to have great experiences seeing the gospel at work in their lives. That’s why our groups partner with a community ministry and support a church planter. So that there are built in opportunities to put the gospel at work in through loving other people. For my group right now, I want them to not just “think about” how the gospel applies to their marriage, but actually APPLY the gospel to their marriage. I want them to admire, show affection to, and sacrificially love their spouses and a date night is a great way to do that.

We aren’t just going out either…oh no… I gave them an “on-the-date” assignment. 5 questions they have to discuss. Just to try and pitch them a home-run ball you know. Here are the questions:

1. What is the coolest / impactful insight you’ve learned from God this week?

   2. What do you find most attractive about your spouse?

   3. What are our big-picture dreams for how God could minister to people through our family?

   4. Where…anywhere reasonable…could we go for our next Husband-Wife getaway? What is keeping us from planning it? What steps can we take now to overcome those obstacles?
   
   

   5. Husband to wife: What do you want for dessert? Because I am splurging tonight baby!