Biggest objection to small groups and a solution in BETA.

It is necessary that this post is longer than normal. Don’t be a pansy; read it.

This post is for 3 groups: small group leaders at the Summit, people in other churches who have small groups & people who object to small groups. For the group that doesn’t object but just doesn’t have them b/c they don’t fit their model of church, I guess this is just informative. Consider yourself the Canadian citizen living in America right now. You cant vote, but all you hear is talk about who you should vote for.

The Objection – no accountability
Anyways, back to the debate. Seriously the objection to the small group model of discipleship I hear often and the one that carries the most weight is the accountability objection. It goes something like this: “how do you know what your groups are doing? Are they meeting regularly? Are they teaching heresy? Are they really doing life together or is that just what you say they are doing? Are your leaders feeling detached from the church? THERE ARE TOO MANY UNKNOWNS! SMALL GROUPS ARE DANGEROUS FOR A CHURCH!”

The reason this objection (which we will sum up and name as the “accountability” objection) is a good one is because it strikes at the core of both what the local church, and the pastor, is supposed to be. The local church was commissioned to cultivate unity around their identity in Christ (Acts 2:42-47) and the pastor was to “guard the deposit (gospel) entrusted to him” (1 Tim 6:20-21) and to teach the gospel , “keeping a close watch on yourself and the teaching” (1 Tim 4:16). So, some will say, how could you possibly build unity and preserve the correct teaching of scripture when your people are broken up into small groups meeting at various times and in places that span 4 counties?

A Response – Small Groups aren’t alone
Before providing a solution to the accountability question I briefly want to point out something about the objection. It assumes that false teaching and disunity do not occur in other models. I think we can all safely say this is a bad assumption. A friend of mine who is a Sunday School pastor (yes we are still friends) told me just the other day about how he discovered, through YOU TUBE, that one of his SS teachers was teaching, basically preaching, pretty blatant heresy on Sunday mornings, just across the hall from this pastor, during the “SS hour.” This is an example, not a proof, of a simple truth & warning from scripture: “False prophets also arose among the people, just as there will be false teachers among you, who will secretly bring in destructive heresies, even denying the Master who bought them…” (2 Peter 2:1). Basically, this warning is that your discipleship model is not immune to Satan’s attack whether you do it all in one building or all online or in living rooms around town. Do not be too proud to acknowledge that, the spiritual safety of the people in your church depend on you acknowledging that.

A Solution – coaching
The Summit Church is a small groups church. We believe whole-heartedly discipleship happens best in relationships and those relationships are formed best in small groups. We have tried several models and methods to institute accountability among our small group leaders. The one I am telling you about is the latest. (Caveat: I don’t mind telling you about it because we are confident it is fully in accord with biblical teaching, but when we identify a better, biblically sound, method we are not going to be too proud to jump on it.) After observing several small group-based churches in the United States we decided to follow the lead of Willow Creek & Redeemer Pres who have successfully instituted a model we are calling the coaching model.

It’s pretty simple. Every small group leader has a coach. A coach has 2 qualifications:

1. experience as a small group leader
2. identified by the pastoral staff as a spiritually maturing Christian of good character (We believe our next crop of elders will come from our coaches).

A coach has 2 responsibilities:

1. support the 2 to 3 group leaders (no more except in rare circumstances) they have been entrusted with by the small groups pastor
2. Meet monthly with other coaches & the small groups pastor. At the monthly meeting we pray for our leaders, diagnose and problem solve small group problems, and encourage one another with what God is doing in these groups

Is this model Satan-proof? Of course not. But Jesus is. So we will continue to bathe our small groups in prayer as we institute this model. I would love your feedback on this concept. For you SummitLIFE leaders, I know this is new so like the title of this post says, its still in BETA mode. Pray with us that God blesses this effort and moves our church towards spiritual maturity.

For a more in-depth look at this model, 2 good resources are Coaching Life Changing Small Groups by the guys at Willow Creek, and the Redeemer Presbyterian Church Planting Manual by of course the staff at Redeemer.

Asking Stimulating Discussion Questions

http://www.christianitytoday.com/smallgroups/articles/howtoaskquestions.html

Ok, since my post tuesday was a little Walden’s Pond ish, the above is a very practical hands on article I read today. The cool thing is, if you lead a group at the Summit, this stuff is gonna sound familiar. So if you didnt believe it when I told you, im sure you will now since its on the internet! Seriously though, its good stuff and well-worded. And please do read the last paragraph.

live from Glenn Alpine

Im spending the first half of the week in an awesome little town in the foothills of NC called Glenn Alpine. Its like Mayberry. Courtney and I are on our “babymoon.” If you dont know what that is, im not sure either. I think its any vacation you go on when you are expecting a baby. Well, Im sitting on the porch of our 1918 colonial style B&B called the Inn at Glenn Alpine. Cool breeze, hardwood porch, rocking chairs, magnolia trees, and the foothills of NC. Lets just say Im pretty comfortable today. Ive spent most of the day reading or just staring blankly at trees while listening to the soothing sounds of One Republic (new favorite album).

Ive been reading Paul’s letter to the Philippians today and have really been shaken by something in his letter. He is writing from prison, yet the theme that spills out everywhere in the letter is JOY. He keeps on and keeps on urging the community (very important) of christians at Phillipi to rejoice together in the Lord. I have always read 4:4-7 as something I should be doing individually. You know, in good times or bad, rejoice in the Lord. Be thankful, yada yada. While this is true, Paul isn’t telling this to one person. he is talking about COMMUNAL REJOICING. In other words, an element of rejoicing in the Lord is sharing joy with other christians..Pause as my newest favorite song “Say (all I need)” just came on…admire clouds…im back. So when you and I rejoice in the lord, we gotta be thinking about who we are sharing our joy with. And we are always to be rejoicing according to Paul, so we must be constantly involved in the lives of other christians enough where we can rejoice together. So that brings me to what that rejoicing looks like:

• First it requires you knowing and being known by a community of Christians. The anthem of my life these days is this: You are designed to live in relationships with other people. For Summit Church, that means small groups.
• One we all seem to do well in churches is rejoicing through singing corporately together about how much joy we have in our standing before God through the blood of Christ. Great start.
• This means communicating regularly to others what God is doing in your life. And to do that it means getting before God regularly to listen and hear from him through reading his word and praying. I think this one is easier than the next because when we catch just a glance of God at work, we get pumped and want to tell others.
• This means sharing the joy of others when you dont feel like you have any reason to rejoice in your life. Yeah this one is hard. What about when a close friend shares how God has started to heal his marriage when you are in an extended period of frustration in your own? Are you genuinely able to rejoice with him or are you only able to extend a christianese “that’s great man.” ironically, their big hit “apologize” just came on. maybe you need to go suck up your stupid sinful pride and apologize to your own spouse since it’s not too late. When you cant rejoice in that situation because you cant stop thinking about why God wont do that in your life, ultimately you are considering yourself to be smarter than God. (caveat: I dont think God ever wants you to have a frustrated marriage. I think he will take you through difficulties to teach you though. because you are stubborn)

Conclusion: Repent of your pride, get into a small group, find a quiet place and some life reflection music, and start discovering how to Rejoice…In the Lord…always.

PS – if this post made no sense, its ok, im on vacation.

On the prowl

I will be brief, because it is July 3rd and you got hot dogs & fireworks on the mind. Ive been encouraged by some small group leaders at our church and their grass roots efforts to build their small groups. So I want to share their strategies with you. First, here is how we do it large scale: The main way we connect people is through a venue we have that connects people to the church called “starting point.” Anyone wanting to get connected comes through there. The other way is through a process called “GroupLink.” we hold grouplink events every so often and we also have a portion of our church website dedicated to grouplink where people can find out info about groups. We even have a place on the worship guide insert to indicate on a sunday that they want to get into a group. The problem with both of those (starting point & grouplink) is that it requires some action by those wanting to get connected. They have to make the effort. Many people who would be willing to be in a group, simply dont make that effort. So we come to our grass roots strategies.

1. MEET PEOPLE ON SUNDAY. Some groups have flooded our greeting teams, kidslife teams, & choir and are simply introducing themselves to people and asking if they are in a SummitLIFE group. If they arent, they invite them to theirs. Its awesome and its such an easy way to connect people. By the way, if you are in a SummitLIFE group, that needs to be the default question when you meet someone on Sunday morning. If the response is “no” immediately find a pen & write their contact info down and send it to me.
2. HELP OUT WITH STARTING POINT. 60 new faces a month come through there at our church. We have group leaders who just come down there and help pull it off each week. In doing so, they cant help but invite people to their groups. Thats what we talk about down there. Starting Point is where the “Glenn Gary” leads are for you old-school film lovers. You cant just show-up though, you gotta make it through the Starting Point screening process. But if you are a leader without a place to serve yet, you should consider that.

Regardless of what you do, get on the prowl!

Examining overused church phrases: “building community”

I have recently been re-influenced by three guys who rank among the greatest thinkers in the 20^th & now 21^st centuries: Francis Schaeffer, C.S. Lewis, and Tim Keller. What all three have reminded me lately (when I read their stuff) is that one of the most important things a Christian must do is to speak the Christian message in a way non-Christians will understand it. I got to thinking about how even in Christian circles we throw around certain phrases so much we no longer really know what they mean. One phrase that gets tossed around every Jesus corner is “building community.” By the way, I am the first to admit I probably say, type, or pray this phrase 30 times a day as a small groups pastor. So if nothing else this post will help me out a bit!

At our church, and thus in our small groups, we say our purpose is to Love God, Love Each Other, Love the World. While I could go into more detail, the basic job of our group leaders is to establish an environment where all three can happen and to be the primary place where Love Each Other happens. So a big big thing our church is asking them to do is “build community.”

Im not about to give you a formula for building community. That process looks different in every setting. What I want to get at is what the essence of Christian community is. We’ve got to stop assuming we know what community is and re-orient our “building” steps based on what community actually is. God created community, and thus your small group, to be:

About God: Did you read that bold print and think “duh, that’s what bible study and prayer time is for?” STOP ASSUMING!! First of all your community better exist outside the walls of your group. But more importantly, when we think that way we compartmentalize God. Community is people, not meetings. So your main purpose is to be about God. Here is how this is challenging to me: is my main purpose as a group leader and group member to create an environment for people to be comfortable & make some friends, or is it to help people worship God with their whole lives? While I normally answer the latter, I often find myself settling for the former. Community is not ultimately about friendships, it is about God. Question for you: what one new step could you take to be about God in your group?

Transparent: Honestly, I almost didn’t write this because of my own shortcomings here. Thank God for the encouragement of scripture that I am not condemned for those shortcomings (Rom 8:1) & can live in freedom. Community is not surface level. Sorry, that’s just for acquaintances. Since the gospel of Jesus reaches in and challenges the deepest most private parts of a person’s life, community must go there too. This is the hardest thing in the world for us I think. And it is where Satan wins most of his battles against the church. Personal example: God tells me in the scriptures I gotta confess my sins to my Christian family (James 5:16). I commit the sin of not honoring my wife in an argument we have about that blankety-blank dog of ours. I have a small group & among the people in it are a couple of guys ive designated to be the guys I confess my sins to (who then will do their job by telling me to go confess to the one I sinned against). I deliberately choose not to tell them about my argument with my wife. Why? Because that shows weakness. Why does that matter to me? Because it is more important to me to appear like a great husband than it is to participate in the church family God has given me for just this purpose. Underlying assumption: I am more confident in me than I am in God. It happens this way everyday with so many people. Pride trumps gospel. Transparency is hard. But the consequences of not practicing it are infinitely worse. I really don’t want to think how many marriages in our church could have been saved if we practiced this a little more.

Missional: I will be brief here. See John 17 for Jesus’ words on this. The unity we experience under the gospel must be visible to the rest of the world. We should put ourselves in settings where we can be “watched.” Basically, God’s community is one that doesn’t exist for itself, it exists to bring the world into a reconciled relationship with its creator. How is your small group missional?

Ok, so the caveat here is many books have been written on this subject, but I didn’t want to write a book today. I challenge you to start thinking both on your “community” and on how clearly you are speaking about Jesus to people who don’t worship him.

People Are the Program

Jen is a Summit Church member who, along with her husband Brian, helps out on Sunday mornings with our Starting Point ministry. (Starting Point is our monthly process people go through to get connected to the church. You should strongly encourage your people to go there if they have not yet. More info here) Brian and Jen also facilitate a SummitLIFE group. That fact will be important in a minute. Last week, A woman sat down at Jen’s table on Sunday morning at Starting point. One of our pastors stopped by the table and got to talking with her about knowing Jesus. What happened next was nothing short of inspiring. When the woman indicated she was not a Christian but wanted to be, the Pastor turned her to Jen who subsequently walked this woman through the gospel and upon understanding the gospel for the first time she placed her faith in Christ. Did you see that? It was subtle but extremely significant… The Pastor empowered Jen to lead this girl to Christ. And Jen was pumped to do so because she has been equipped by the church to do just that!
( I really want to stop here and talk about how much I love being in a family of believers that really strives to function like the New Testament Church. They want pastors to equip them for the work of the gospel. They want to do the work of saints. I pray daily God infects our church with more of this spirit.)

I cant stop because the story gets better. Last week Courtney and I were at Caribou coffee in Brier Creek (The unofficial hot spot for Summit people after hours. pray with me for the salvation of their staff as we are starting to build rapport with them). I look up from my computer to see the women in Jen’s SummitLIFE group having coffee together. Guess who is there? Yep, the woman Jen led to Christ just a couple of days earlier! I almost jumped up, ran outside where they were sitting and hugged Jen. But that would have been awkward on so many levels I chose to shake Courtney’s arm uncontrollably instead. I’m that giddy because nobody asked Jen to invite this girl into her life. In fact, Starting Point doesn’t do group placement for another 2 weeks. Jen’s group is pretty full as it is and doesn’t need another person. Jen brought her in simply because it was her first instinct to care for the person God put in front of her.

WHOA! So often we wait and hope on a church program or ministry to point people towards. These are good things, but the essence of the church, and the essence of discipleship, is relationships! Its not programs or processes. It is the people of God lovingly sharing the truth (the gospel) with love to those who God brings in front of us.

What would it look like if you asked the person you sit beside this Sunday morning if they were new to the Summit? Rough estimates are that we have 30 people each week who are at the Summit for the very first time. Scores more have yet to meet a single person outside of those they come with (if they come with anyone.) What if we all saw ourselves as the point of connection, for the person beside us, to the body of Christ? What if that person said they were new, and you offered to take them to lunch just to get to know them and let them get to know somebody at the church? Heck, what if you just stood outside for 5 minutes after the service and had a legitimate conversation with them?

Do you see what would happen? Our first impressions team would grow exponentially because we would all become in tuned , like Jen was, to the people God puts in front of us. What if we prayed for God to put a non-Christian in the seat beside us this Sunday?!!! WHOA!!! Did you just get as uncomfortable as I did? For me, that discomfort was no doubt conviction and I am going to pray that today. And I am going to do everything in my power to not sit beside someone I know this Sunday.

Would you be willing to pray that? Would you be willing to act on that? Would you be willing to, right here in our midst, begin transforming the culture of the Summit family to one that starts to live out the love of Christ by being the welcoming family of Christ the New Testament encourages us to be?

A few of the things im learning about small groups

1. 1. Growth takes time – This is critical for me as a “I want results now” kinda person. Spiritual growth takes time. It takes time for individuals and for churches. As small group leaders, we must be willing to live in relationships with people for a significant amount of time. We cannot see them as a “project” but as family members we are investing our lives into. This also means that we as group leaders may never fully see the fruit of our efforts. That should never dissuade us from our great task of helping people grow deeper in love with Jesus.

2. 2. Growth comes through the pursuit – We tend to think we will arrive one day at this great land called “spiritual maturity.” Here is the problem with that: when we do things in hopes of arriving at a level of maturity, we become legalists. We become Pharisees. We grow spiritually through pursuing Christ. Spiritual maturity is simply consistently pursuing Christ & the application of the gospel to your life a little longer than the guy or girl beside you.

3. 3. Growth is messy – Ok this one is for both numerical and spiritual. First off, growing a small group ministry is messy. Once a group gets comfortable it tends to take on a character of its own which is good, but can result in loosing contact with the church at large. As a pastor, I have to be comfortable with a certain level of that happening. That’s called putting trust in my leaders. When leaders launch new groups, it is never perfectly neat and clean. Group members stepping out of old groups to lead new ones isn’t easy, it can be quite hard. But spiritual growth is messy too. People don’t usually just gradually grow up in their faith on some mythical scale from 0 to 10 over the course of their life. The truth is, they grow in spurts and in different spurts in different areas of their lives. You may have a couple who really becomes solid prayer warriors in your group, who you discover is in financial ruin because they have never sought to apply the gospel to their finances. Guess what, you as a group leader probably have areas of your life where you are not sure how to live out a gospel-centered mindset. I will be the first to tell you that I am about to enter parenthood and I have a TON to learn about what gospel-centered parenting looks like. Thankfully my small group has parents in it!

4. 4. We gotta buy in – Not sure how this became a “growth…” blog anyways. One thing im convinced of, by seeing it in our small groups, is that a leader must be fully bought in to the idea that small groups work if they are going to have a successful group. If we aren’t convinced we can see life change happen, our people will see right through our façade and we are wasting time. I implore you, if you are leading a small group and you are not convinced God is going to change the lives of your small group members through their time in your group, get on your knees immediately, repent, and ask God for faith. Im really not exaggerating or kidding. We are not just going through the motions in small groups. We are literally being the church. Please don’t treat the church, the bride of Christ, lightly.

5. 5. Small Groups are Awesome – I love small groups. Im convinced growth happens here better than in any other context. That gets me all excited and I hope you are excited with me.

Avoiding Discussion Pitfalls

One of the greatest challenges, and greatest assets, of small groups are their discussion times. They can, however, be challenging because discussions are entirely different animals than lectures or sermons. Everyone who has been in a small group for any length of time can probably relate to these two common pitfalls (with cheesy titles) that a small group discussion can fall into:

1. Lectureville: In lectureville, one person (usually the designated group leader) simply talks on the subject of the evening for 30 or 45 minutes. Maybe there is a Q & A at the end, but regardless the “discussion” is completely one sided. The problem here is that small groups are not designed to function like a lecture hall. They are designed as environments where people can interact with scripture and how it applies to their lives. Why do groups fall into this pit? Either because the leader has a bunch of stuff he/she really wants to tell the group (which isn’t a bad desire) or because the group members have not opened their mouths when the leader tried a discussion format. As a group leader, I know I get discouraged when no-one talks, so to avoid those silences I just talk more. This is a pitfall nonetheless, and one that both the group members and the group leader have to help the group avoid.

2. Opinion Land: This honestly is where I have a tendency to fall many times. In opinion land, a small group leader tosses out a question like “what does this passage mean?” Every group member then proceeds to give their opinion about the meaning. The rest of the group gives an obligatory head nod that silently says “Im not really following you and probably don’t agree, but hey that’s what you think.” The problem here is that meaning comes from what the author intended, not from what we read into it. So a discussion that affirms, even through silence, that differing opinions are ok, isn’t a healthy discussion. On the other hand, a discussion that involves people bouncing opinions off one another about in an attempt to reach the authorial intent can be quite productive. The point here: Don’t settle in opinion land when the truth is at stake!

The key to good discussion
Facilitation. To avoid lectureville and opinion land, the fine art of discussion facilitation is needed. If the small group leader facilitates the discussion, what occurs during the meeting is a guided investigation into how scriptural truths apply to daily life. To use a college analogy, a group leader is more like a lab instructor or a TA than a lecturing professor. He or she makes sure the group has their minds and hands in the text, and is encouraging them to observe everything about it. He or she challenges them to consider the meaning and implication of what they are observing (watch out for detours to opinion land!) Then, like any good TA, the leader provides clarification & meaning of the text and connects the text to the larger picture of scripture (avoid roads to lectureville!). Is it helpful then for these facilitators to be gifted teachers? Sure it is. Is it necessary? Not at all. That’s what the lecturing professor (pastor) is there for. The only necessary qualification for group leaders is a willingness to encourage and pray for their group members on a regular basis. While your TA probably didn’t regularly pray for you, I trust you get the point.

Now, you may be self-analyzing right now. Don’t do that for too long. Learning the art of facilitation comes with both time and training. A helpful way to get out of one of these pitfalls, or to find out if you are even in one, is to ask a fellow group member or your small groups pastor for feedback. If you are a SummitLIFE leader, we have a team of people now ready to help you in this area. Take us up on our offer and get on the road to healthy small group discussion!