I grew up in a youth group that just loved to separate the guys and the girls to talk about gender-specific issues. Now, if you want my unsolicited opinion, there are few things in life that are more distracting to a teenaged girl than sitting in a room wondering what all the boys are talking about across the hall.

Especially when the girls were being told the same thing over and over and over again. Inevitably, a slightly awkward older woman in a pajama-esque pant suit would spend approximately forty-five minutes attempting to charm the uninterested as she prattled on about what was apparently the weightiest issue facing our walks with Christ: the way that we dressed.

A group of impressionable young women in jeans would listen as she warned us not to dress like five-dollar hookers, because the animals masquerading as young men across the hall only wanted one thing. Now if we were really lucky, she might admonish us all to view ourselves like Jesus did—as delicate tea cups instead of paper Starbucks cups [can I get an amen? Anybody?]– but the bottom line always seemed to be what not to wear.

Interestingly, no one ever pulled her aside to tell her to leave her pant suit in 1978.

Across the hall, the boys were talking about sex. They were talking about the dangerous allure of pornography, of just how tempting it was to have sex before marriage, the sinful nature of masturbation…these boys were being equipped to fight the battle like the men that God had created them to be.

But no one ever talked with my friends and I about any of that. Delicate tea cups can’t handle those sorts of things, I suppose. Unfortunately, a generation of tea cups grew up steeped in the subliminal message that sexual sin is something that only men struggle with—but never women.

If you’re a woman reading this, you just rolled your eyes. You know all too well the battle being fought in the hearts, minds and bedrooms of the women that fill the sanctuary every Sunday morning. I’ve struggled with it, my friends have struggled with it, the women in my small group struggle with it…ladies, shall we let the boys in on our secret? Hold onto your hats, gentlemen: we have sex drives too.

The problem is, we don’t talk about that in church. While the men are being warned and equipped, we are quietly sitting on the sidelines, pretending to be unaffected and unconcerned as the battle rages on.

As a church, it is imperative that we debunk the dangerous myth that sexual sin is an exclusively male problem. Women struggle with masturbation. They struggle with pornography. They wrestle with the desire to have sex before marriage, and so many of us live with the crushing weight of guilt that comes from losing a battle that we were never equipped to fight. And it’s not the pant-suited lady’s fault; the responsibility for our sin is our own.

Ladies: you are not alone. It’s time for us to recognize the severity of the problem, and to combat our sin like the women God created us to be. Let us be the generation that acknowledges the battle, and fights it well.

To that end, I’d like to invite you to join me to be equipped to fight. On February 12^th, from 5:00-8:00 at the Brier Creek South Venue, Brad Hambrick [counselor extraordinaire] is going to be giving a training seminar on how to combat and deal with the ramifications of sexual sin – False Love: Overcoming Sexual Sin from Lust to Adultery.

Ladies, you need to be there regardless of whether or not this is a current struggle for you. You may not be actively engaged in the battle right now, but it’s a guarantee that you know someone who is. Your sister, your best friend, the girl in your small group, your husband-this is a battle being waged across our church.

Join me on February 12^th, at the Summit’s Brier Creek Campus, and let’s fight it together. A tea cup can’t fight, but a godly woman can!

Without question one of the dominating issues facing the church is sexual sin. It destroys marriages and families and festers in the dark corners of people’s lives for years. Here at the Summit, we are taking a collective stand against it next month. Our EQUIP ministry is putting on 2 seminars back to back to equip our church to confront and recover from sexual sin. This is not just for those who struggle with it, but instead We will attend as a church family. Below is a note from our pastor of Counseling, Brad Hambrick, who will be teaching both seminars. 

Pornography and Adultery: Personal Restoration and Marital Recovery

How many times has a friend or family member of yours been affected by sexual sin – their own or their spouses’? How many times have you felt really uncomfortable, knowing you should say something, but not knowing what to say? With the current rates of pornography usage and extra-marital sex close to 100% of people could think of at least one occurrence of those situations in the last year.

As a church, we cannot pretend this issue does not exist, choose to remain ignorant on these subjects, or hide behind the excuse that these are private matters. Consider this warning given by Martin Luther:

“If you preach the gospel in all aspects with the exception of the issues that deal specifically with your time, you are not preaching the gospel at all.” Martin Luther as quoted by Tim Chester in Closing the Window (p. 10).

It is for this reason that the Summit is presenting two EQUIP seminars in February. These are free seminars. We hope that many people in our church and community will benefit from learning how the Gospel speaks to these epidemic struggles. Please invite anyone you believe would benefit from this material.

 False Love: Overcoming Sexual Sin from Lust to Adultery
February 12, 2012 // 5:00 to 8:00 pm
The Summit Church; Brier Creek South Venue
2415 Presidential Drive, Suite 107; Durham, NC 27703
Free – No RSVP Needed

Lust is not a gender specific issue. Lust is not something “some people” struggle with. Lust is not a “phase we go through.” Lust is not a problem that getting married will solve. Lust may never go beyond your imagination, but still create a persistent dissatisfaction with your current relationships or marriage.

Or, lust may be life dominating. Lust may cause you to put your health, your spouse’s health, your job, or your reputation in jeopardy. Lust may lead you to lie and create a double life in ways that you would have never thought you would.

Regardless of your type or depth of struggle with lust or whether your are single or married the “False Love: Overcoming Sexual Sin from Lust to Adultery” seminar is designed to help you walk away from these fantasy-based relationships (yes, even adultery is a fiction and porn is a relationship) and move towards the pure, true love for others than God ordained.

True Betrayal: Overcoming the Betrayal of Your Spouse’s Sexual Sin
February 19, 2012 // 5:00 to 8:00 pm
The Summit Church; Brier Creek South Venue
2415 Presidential Drive, Suite 107; Durham, NC 27703
Free – No RSVP Needed

There is no way to prepare for the news that your spouse has been looking at pornography, is having an emotional affair, or is/has committing adultery. Yet even without being able to prepare, you are still forced to respond when the news hits.

Numbness, anger, despair, fear, jealousy, regret, denial, revenge, embarrassment, shame, questions of whether I ever really know the truth, lack of trust, loss of respect, and feelings of loss of permanence are all common responses. But how do you respond to those responses? How do you “move forward”? What is “forward” anyway?

The “True Betrayal: Overcoming the Betrayal of Your Spouse’s Sexual Sin” seminar is intended to guide you through the emotional, mental, and relational dilemmas of your spouse’s sexual sin. It helps you answer the practical informational questions (i.e., What do I need to know? What should I expect from my spouse? Why is the “why” question so plaguing and hurtful?), and it walks you through the emotional pain that no answers to any questions will alleviate.

• Title: Jesus in My Place
• Purpose: To equip you to share the gospel message.
• Length: 5 Sessions
• Structure: Video teaching combined with in-group discussion
• Cost: $5 for hard copy, free online

I’m introducing this to you for 2 reasons.

1. As a resource that may help you and your small group. I’m finding so many in our church who are young in their faith and WANT to share christ, but just don’t feel they know how. Maybe your group and/or your church is in the same place. We worked hard to make this an easy to use, self-explanatory resource a group leader can pick up and run with. (Caveat: We did use a good bit of summit church specific language so if you use it in your group, you will probably want to explain that. Or, maybe you just use it and take what you learn & teach it yourself. Whatever works for you!)
   
2. To generate discussion on small group material. God has been gracious to afford me the chance to write a couple of studies that are now out in the ocean-sized market of group materials. They are Gospel Revolution & Presence. Please buy them both! In writing them I worked through a good bit of material out there for groups. I found it tough to wade through and a good bit of it lacking in the “equipping” aspect. By that I mean there is some fantastic stuff that will help you come to know God and his word better, but often leave you hanging before it gets to not just “application” but “preparation.” Helping you feel equipped to live out the life God calls you to. I lay this material out there as an early attempt from the Summit toward that end. I promise, I’ve already found things wrong with it so I know it isn’t perfect. I’d love to hear from you, what do you NEED out of a small group material? I wonder if its the same thing I feel we need here?

Artist: Aftermath (Jonathan Edwards)

Album: She’s Better than Dreams

Favorite Track: Airplanes & Airwaves

Surprise Track I really like: She’s Got Me

I am thrilled to tell you my friend Jonathan Edwards & the aftermath has put together another album, this one titled “she’s better than dreams.” the album goes live on January 10 and I am glad to give this thing my full force recommendation to your music library. Here’s why:

1. It’s better than the last one. A sign of a true artist is his/her ability to stretch themselves and still produce quality work. Jonathan stretches himself on this one. While it still fits in that blues meets anthem meets coldplay vibe created in the first album, it is fresh. His voice is much stronger and clearer and he takes more risks with it range wise (Track 2 “She’s Got Me” has a lot of this).

2. The Story Continues. Jonathan’s first album seemed to have its genesis in dealing with dark patches of the past. This one feels more resolved. Almost like the soundtrack at the end of a movie where everything has resolved itself and now the main character is looking ahead where hope and realism weave together to form new dreams.

3. Its short yet complete. I’m grateful for this not because i only want 5 songs, but because he put good work into all 5. Remember Hootie & The Blowfish “cracked rear view?” GREAT first 5 songs and pretty much nothing after that. If you download “She’s Better than Dreams” you get 5 strong songs. period.

Maybe the best part of this album is that it feels like an original sound has been developed in a world where not too much is original anymore. To find out more:

I had the great privilege of preaching at the Summit’s Brier Creek Campus this weekend. I love preaching and nowhere do I love doing it more than with the people I’ve grown up with over the past 10 years. All that to say it was fun. We finished out our series in 1 Peter by looking at 5.6-11. What a passage. The End Times, The Devil, Suffering, Anxiety, brotherhood, and a doxology to boot. All in 5 verses. Wow.  2 things stood out to me as I prepped that I thought I’d share. If you are bored and need Full manuscript: 1 Peter 5.6-11 – 12.18.2011.

1. We don’t dwell on the resurrection of jesus enough. I wonder how many of us even refer to the resurrection when we talk about ‘the gospel.’ Peter’s letter is so full of resurrection hope. By that I mean, Peter founds all of his statements about the end times on the fact that Jesus got up out of the grave. Think about it. When Jesus died peter was cowering in the shadows afraid to align himself to Jesus. but after Jesus rose, the guy couldn’t be shut up (Acts 4)! For Peter, Just like Paul, the resurrection of Christ served as a promise of the resurrection that is to come for the rest of creation (1 Cor 15). Why does this matter? because it gives perspective and hope in the middle of present struggle. Suffering, sin, anxiety, are all BRIEF. but glory with Christ is ETERNAL. That perspective is one of great hope for Peter and I hope it is so for you.

2. The Devil is Real. Great Quote from C.S. Lewis in Screwtape Letters. The premise of the book is a demon named screwtape writing to his nephew / rookie demon named wormwood about how to secure the damnation of an ordinary man.In response to wormwood’s question “is it essential to keep the patient ignorant of your own existence?” Screwtape replies:

• “That question has been answered for us by the High Command. Our policy, for the moment, is to conceal ourselves… I do not think you will have much difficulty keeping your patient in the dark. The fact that ‘devils’ are predominantly comic figures in the modern imagination will help you. If any faint suspicion of your existence begins to arise in his mind, suggest to him a picture of something in red tights, and persuade him that since he cannot believe in that (it is an old textbook method of confusing them) he therefore cannot believe in you.”[1]

Here is why that hit me. My full-time salary paying job is disciple making. One of the key ground rules in disciple making is that spiritual growth is not formulaic. By that I mean you cannot just plug-n-play a set of steps and poof out pops the apostle Paul.

While I know that, recently God has given our church a really strong season of gospel-centered discipleship. We are learning what it means to dig to the root of our problems, evaluate them in light of the cross and resurrection, then seek change. While I believe in the gospel does change, I have to guard myself against making it into the latest “formula.”

People are people. they have real problems and real baggage. I cannot just say some pithy “hey just believe the gospel & it will all be ok” to the guy in my small group whose father-in-law was just diagnosed with cancer. I’ve got to roll up my sleeves and serve that family. And speak gospel words IN THE CONTEXT of good relational care.

So as you learn and dwell in the deep waters of the gospel, don’t forget people need to hear what you are learning in the context of a close friendship. The gospel is far more than a bandaid, so use it well!

Yesterday I shared a video from City Church, a recent Summit Church plant in Murfreesboro, TN. What a joy to see God’s grace being poured out through their church as well as through Summit Denver, a church plant we sent out just under a year ago. My point with sharing this is that I am learning no matter how many people we see come to faith in RDU (and I pray a wave of that is upon us), people in other areas of the country and world still need to hear the gospel. They need a local church to be the visible expression of God’s invisible yet overwhelming love for them. By planting local churches around the country we are creating not just adding opportunities to hear and respond to the gospel, we are multiplying them.

The next Summit Church plant is Mercy Hill Church, led by another of my closest friends Andrew Hopper. Andrew and I went through seminary together and grew up together as pastors here at the Summit. He’s heading to my hometown, Greensboro NC, along with 20+ others from the Summit to plant their lives for the sake of that city. While it pains me to see him go, I know God’s past grace is a promise of his future grace. I cannot wait to see how lives are transformed by the Gospel over the next 10 years in Greensboro. I think of so many friends who I grew up with that I cannot wait to recommend this church to when they hit the ground next spring. Below Pastor Andrew explains more:

Sorry this is a little long, but it has a ton of links for you!

I had a fantastic week at the Right Now 2011 Conference subtitled “unleashed for the gospel.” The Team at Right Now continues to put on a really strong week that should be put alongside of any conference you are considering attending in a year. The keynote speakers were fantastic and the breakout sessions were well thought through. Wednesday and Thursday breakouts were packed with great small group & discipleship training.  Also, the keynote speakers led breakout sessions giving them a chance to interact & do Q & A with those in attendance. All in all, a really encouraging & productive week. I’d encourage you to attend in 2012. My unplanned promo out of the way, here are some takeaways

1. The Gospel is not a Ministry Fad – I’m grateful the RN team sought to put the gospel at the front and center of this year’s gathering. The inclusion of J.D. Greear & his new book Gospel  was a great call (I don’t just say that because he’s my pastor) to that end. What I found to ring true throughout main sessions & breakouts is that the gospel is not a buzz word or a new strategy. It’s the simple yet profound message that grounds and fuels the christian life. Sometimes conferences jump on the latest issues or trends & make a big deal out of them. That isn’t always bad, but I believe learning HOW to grow deeper in the gospel was very profitable for so many at this conference. Listen to at least the main sessions when they come available.

2. The Small Group World is moving in a great direction - I had the privilege to interact with so many who are point people for disciple making in their contexts. I was really encouraged to see such different models all finding common treading in this gospel theme. I was also encouraged to see the spread of ministry experience in the field. I saw

1. key guys with some experience in the field like Steve Gladen, Bill Donahue, Bill Willits, Bill Search, Greg Bowman & Rick Howerton are very willing to engage so many guys newer to the field than they. I didn’t get to see Mark Howell this week but he too would be in this camp. Such an open, friendship-based learning community is so critical to a healthy continuation of disciple-making ministries in the coming decades. Notice, I did not say “old guys” because its not age, but experience and wisdom that make their influence so valuable. PS, these guys are all different ages.
   
2. There are some really sharp up & coming guys in the small group world. They have a slew of different approaches, but seem to hold a common fervor for making disciples, not audiences. I LOVE getting around these guys because they challenge the heck out of me in how we are making disciples at the Summit. Brad House (buy his new book), Ben Reed (nobody leverages “the internets” better) , Todd Engstrom (Missional Communities & Notre Dame Football), Trevor Joy (A texan to the bone & calling group leaders UP to the challenge over at the Village Church),  Scott Boren (buy his books too), Heather Zempel, Eric Metcalf (New Thing Network Guy),  and a host of others. I know i’m missing some but the point is, these people are alongside me in the trenches and inspire me to get after it as a pastor.
3. I met Many new friends who are groups point people in their local churches who are hungry to build disciple making ministries on the gospel. I was encouraged by the questions, the engagement in the sessions I led, and the great lobby conversations. last year some 300 people came to the first day small group training. This year over 2200 came! ARE YOU KIDDING! Praise God! I am praying that momentum provides a desperately needed jolt to the american church. After all, Under our watch in the next 40 years, the church will either return to relevance or drift into complete detachment from cultural influence.